Medical Quotes

"The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind; the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity."

"For the mind disturbed, the still beauty of dawn is nature's finest balm."

"When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays."

"Walking is man's best medicine."

"When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother."

"The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease."

"The good physician treats the disease; the great physician treats the patient who has the disease."

"I am dying from the treatment of too many physicians."

"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."

"I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course."

"Illness is the doctor to whom we pay most heed; to kindness, to knowledge, we make promise only; pain we obey."

"Medicine is my lawful wife and literature my mistress; when I get tired of one, I spend the night with the other."

"Thinking of disease constantly will intensify it. Feel always 'I am healthily in body and mind'."

"The greatest evil is physical pain."

"The physician's highest calling, his only calling, is to make sick people healthy - to heal, as it is termed."

"The patient's autonomy always, always should be respected, even if it is absolutely contrary - the decision is contrary to best medical advice and what the physician wants."

"Doctors will have more lives to answer for in the next world than even we generals."

"Time is generally the best doctor."

"The best doctor is the one you run to and can't find."

"They certainly give very strange names to diseases."

"The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing."

"In the name of Hypocrites, doctors have invented the most exquisite form of torture ever known to man: survival."

"A physician is not angry at the intemperance of a mad patient, nor does he take it ill to be railed at by a man in fever. Just so should a wise man treat all mankind, as a physician does his patient, and look upon them only as sick and extravagant."

"To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine."

"My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more."

"You know what they call the fellow who finishes last in his medical school graduating class? They call him 'Doctor.'"

"You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten."

"Disease is the retribution of outraged Nature."

"A hospital is no place to be sick."

"I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for."