Woody Allen Quotes
Born: December 1, 1935
Woody Allen, the iconic filmmaker, writer, and actor, has spent decades exploring the chaotic beauty of the human psyche. Beneath his signature wit and neurotic humor lies a profound philosophy on resilience: the art of persisting despite life’s absurdities. His work champions the idea that focus is not about rigid control, but about finding clarity amid distraction. Allen’s quotes resonate because they transform anxiety into insight, urging us to laugh at our failures and keep moving forward. His legacy endures as a testament to the creative spirit—a reminder that true strength comes from embracing imperfection with unwavering determination.
Woody Allen Quotes (65)
"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."
— Woody Allen"Eighty percent of success is showing up."
— Woody Allen"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon."
— Woody Allen"The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small."
— Woody Allen"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."
— Woody Allen"I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
— Woody Allen"Seventy percent of success in life is showing up."
— Woody Allen"I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
— Woody Allen"In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."
— Woody Allen"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
— Woody Allen"Tradition is the illusion of permanence."
— Woody Allen"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose."
— Woody Allen"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead."
— Woody Allen"If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job."
— Woody Allen"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative."
— Woody Allen"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."
— Woody Allen"I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia."
— Woody Allen"I think being funny is not anyone's first choice."
— Woody Allen"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good."
— Woody Allen"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?"
— Woody Allen"I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear."
— Woody Allen"In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows."
— Woody Allen"I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government."
— Woody Allen"Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it."
— Woody Allen"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
— Woody Allen"Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue."
— Woody Allen"Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable."
— Woody Allen"It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."
— Woody Allen"The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have."
— Woody Allen"On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down ."
— Woody Allen