Mark Twain Quotes

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started."

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure."

"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."

"If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first."

"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."

"A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read."

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please."

"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."

"There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded."

"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."

"Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself."

"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."

"Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it."

"Don't let schooling interfere with your education."

"Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest."

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear."

"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."

"Buy land, they're not making it anymore."

"When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain."

"A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way."

"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."

"The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated."

"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."