Iliza Shlesinger Quotes

"I think part of being Jewish is that innate desire to question things. Rabbis sit around all day and question the Torah. Giving yourself the room to question things, in a religion, just breeds thinking."

"Being sexually harassed is the worst. Sorry. Let me rephrase that. Being sexually harassed by an ugly guy is the worst... If he's hot, it's just plain old flirting."

"It's only through aging and going through heartbreak and loss and successes and failures that you can look back and look at the mistakes some young people make."

"We're so hard on ourselves, and there's a freedom in realizing that we're our toughest critics."

"A very long time ago, I accepted that travel is just a necessary evil, and unlike many things in my life, I decided going with the flow would make it less painful."

"I've never been a dirty comic."

"There's a way to express femininity and independence and strength without going for hanging fruit."

"I firmly believe in standing by what you are. I was never taught to dim my light to pacify other people."

"You can make people laugh, but having them really want to hear what you have to say, that takes trust and time."

"The amount of garbage that women are expected to put up with - we're just expected to ignore when a man whistles at us. And it never makes us feel good - it always makes us feel unsafe."

"My hair is just like five pieces of very soft straw that needs managing. I touch my hair a lot, and that makes it crazy."

"You can hate me for being a woman, you can hate me for being smart, you can hate me for being funny, but you hate me because I am doing something you could never do. End of story."

"There's no anger in my act towards anyone other than myself... and maybe airlines."

"I have the comedic chops and intelligence to raise points and discuss both sides of whatever is on our mind as a society."

"Women are often scrutinized when they have pets that men wouldn't have. We are immediately faulted for having the wrong kind of pet rather than anyone first think, 'Wow, she rescued an animal that would have been otherwise killed and gave them a great home - how sweet!'"

"I drink Peet's Coffee, and they're a very authentic company. They don't try to be something that they're not, and I think that's reflective in my comedy as well."

"My mother always told me that you should have one room in your house where you celebrate all of your achievements. You shouldn't have them spread throughout."

"At a certain point, I had so much artwork that I decided to respect the art and present them in a nice way, not just on a dusty shelf."

"I believe in having a neat workspace because everything else in my life is so unpredictable, and my mind is so crowded - I wake up with commercials from the '90s blaring in my head. I try to give myself a fighting chance by having an organized workspace."

"I've had girls that kissed me on the cheek. People get so pumped, and so excited, they don't see you as a person. Which is fair. Sometimes, I don't see people as people. But at the end of the day, you can't put your hands on me unless I hug you first."

"You're never going to please 100 percent of women."

"I believe in choosing your words very carefully. It's funny: I'll get comments like, 'Oh I love you. You don't care; you have no filter.' On the contrary, I absolutely have a filter, because I understand decorum, and my objective is not to upset people."

"No matter who you date, people are going to make fun of them, jealous people are going to say stuff, people get creepy - all the things that come with the public eye."

"My family is funny. I think you're born with the gene."

"When all my girlfriends were watching 'ER,' I was watching episodes of 'Kids in the Hall.'"

"What keeps me going is that this I all there is. I am a comedian, and this is what I do. It's like telling a fish to stop swimming. It'll die."

"I prefer social politics to politics."

"When I started my career, I started with black comics: Bruce Bruce, Mark Curry, Bill Bellamy. It takes all kinds of influences."

"Getting to prove yourself in a room that's not your typical demo is an experience every comic should try. It makes you better."

"I was always rewarded for being funny. I liked being funny."