Dave Barry Quotes

"The real evidence for Jesus and Christianity is in how Jesus and the Christianity based on him manifest themselves in the lives of practicing Christians."

"The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs."

"Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling."

"The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl."

"Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep."

"Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face."

"To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent."

"Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro."