E. W. Howe Quotes

"A thief believes everybody steals."

"To be an ideal guest, stay at home."

"Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them."

"If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old."

"When a man has no reason to trust himself, he trusts in luck."

"When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it."

"No man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next."

"The worst feeling in the world is the homesickness that comes over a man occasionally when he is at home."

"The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep."

"The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement."

"If a woman doesn't chase a man a little, she doesn't love him."

"When people hear good music, it makes them homesick for something they never had, and never will have."

"The way out of trouble is never as simple as the way in."

"The average man's judgment is so poor, he runs a risk every time he uses it."

"Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom; wait until they have been married longer."

"Don't abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism."

"Common sense is compelled to make its way without the enthusiasm of anyone."

"What people say behind your back is your standing in the community."

"Marriage is a good deal like a circus: there is not as much in it as is represented in the advertising."

"A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice."

"A theory is no more like a fact than a photograph is like a person."

"A young man is a theory, an old man is a fact."

"People are always neglecting something they can do in trying to do something they can't do."

"If your faith is opposed to experience, to human learning and investigation, it is not worth the breath used in giving it expression."

"When you are in trouble, people who call to sympathize are really looking for the particulars."

"Instead of loving your enemies - treat your friends a little better."

"No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves."

"Some men storm imaginary Alps all their lives, and die in the foothills cursing difficulties which do not exist."

"Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other."

"Everyone suffers wrongs for which there is no remedy."